One of the things that I keep working on is keeping the positive momentum going. It’s a never ending struggle, and when I’m thrown off or forget I have to fight to get back in the saddle again.

On my training run on christmas day I logged this comment:

Easy run on terrible footing, a mix of ice, mud and thawing snow. Felt really great to be out again after this years great christmas interruption. From a process management perspective I absolutely hate christmas, it just always suck, both my training and everybody’s way of going about it all. So wasteful. On the 23rd there really wasn’t time, and on the 24th I could’ve made it, except I crashed mentally on stress, too much sugar and negative emotions from not running on the 23rd. :-( I wonder when I’ll learn, 20 years? I don’t know.

Some anger and irritation is apparent.

What happened was that everybody was so busy with preparations when I arrived in Holstebro that I had to look after the kids all the time. That is of course perfectly fair, and fun, but since I’m doing a 30 runs in 30 days challenge this month and I’ve already had two days sick it did stress me out. I was, and still am, behind schedule.

Being christmas there was of course candy on the table later in the day, and I still haven’t figured out how to not eat it if it’s there. And I munch candy like there’s no tomorrow. Literally, because the headache and depression I sometimes get from it in the next 24 hours just makes me wish for that tomorrow to end as soon as possible.

It’s easy enough at home, there’s never any candy in the house, but when I’m out I don’t control the candy availability.

On the 24th, the day where we have all the christmas festivities here in Denmark, I could’ve snuck in a run, but I was in a terrible mood and had no energy for it. And I had a headache. It was cold. Icy. Wet. Miserable. Dangerous. Things I normally ignore and just run through anyway, it’s an important part of the experience for me, training through adverse conditions. My most memorable training sessions are almost without exception those I’ve had in terrible weather. Epic training sessions.

When I don’t keep the positive momentum going and get out running in crappy conditions I cheat myself from the odd memorable epic run that I am treated to from time to time. So I both get less fit and get less out of life.

Seen in that light coachies latest blog post seems like it’s almost a comment on my experience. Gordo probably sees it every year from several clients, but still…

He also talks about wedding photos and how people inevitably look the very best they can, and how they look and age in the decades following.

When I look at our own wedding photos from August 6th 2005 I see myself at 97 kg and much less fit than I am now. I’ve lost 13 kg, and I can drop 3-5 more without any ill effects, and I have really improved on all counts. Better yet, I seem to keep improving.

So I guess it’s not all bad. The hard part is keeping the positive momentum going.

So now I’ve returned home alone after christmas, Mette Marie and the kids come home just after new year, and I have had no food in the house. I only had some müsli for breakfast and then I went to a job interview (it went well, thank you). On my way home I went shopping for groceries and went into a health food shop to get some things, very hungry I grabbed an energybar of some sort along with the other stuff, and when I was about to pay I realized I’d forgotten my VISA card and had to pay in cash. By sheer luck I had enough to pay for it all, except for the energy bar.

On the way home it got me thinking about how good that was. An energy bar, organic or not, is still mostly sugar, and I’ve had enough of that, so I was lucky that I’d forgotten my VISA. It got me thinking about positive momentum, and how precious it is. Preserving it takes constant vigilance.

I ran this morning, and will run this evening too. I need double runs most days until January 2nd to make my 30 runs in 30 days, and I think I can make it. Along the way I’ll see if I can make 40+ km in 24 hours. That would be cool.

To succeed I need to nurture the positive momentum I’ve now regained. That way it will be easy. If not, I’ll probably fail the 30 runs.